A Son's Rite of Passage
by Mia-63
Summary: A Father/Son story about Edward coming of age. Warning: this story contains corporal punishment, i.e., spanking
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone! This is my very first Fanfic, so please be gentle. I had this idea in my head for a story and started writting one day and well, here is the fruit of my labor. It's written entirely from Edward's POV to best capture the angst and uncertainty he feels from becoming a man. I chose the 'M' rating for some mild language and tastefully written sexual reference in later chapters. This story contains the SPANKING of a hormone-crazed teenaged vampire. If this isn't your thing, please don't read.**

**_Stephenie Meyers owns TWILIGHT._**

I sat alone in Carlisle's study waiting for him to join me. I wasn't expecting to see him when we walked in from school and his thoughts were blocked to me. After greeting us all he ordered me to his study and suggested that the rest of my siblings go for a hunt and to take their time coming home. He even suggested that perhaps tonight would be a good night to see a movie in Port Angeles. Before leaving the room I shrugged my shoulders at Alice giving her a perplexed look. If Alice saw this coming she didn't tell me. Then of course she had orders from Carlisle not to interfere when it came time for him to discipline one of us.

What was taking him so long? I've been sitting here for more than 20 minutes and I was becoming more and more nervous. I roughly raked my fingers though my hair and sighed again. I tried in vain to access Carlisle's thoughts but got nothing. Carlisle had mastered blocking my mind reading decades ago. Even without the benefit of hearing his thoughts I knew I was in trouble. This scenario was not unfamiliar to me. When Carlisle ordered his children into his study it meant only one thing: punishment.

Usually I already had some idea of why I was in this predicament. I racked my brain for what I could have done. Aside from the usual vampire mischief, which my brothers and I are completely in the clear on at the moment, I got nothing. Then I remembered something…no,_ no_ he wouldn't do that…_would he_? Finally, I got a taste of Carlisle's scent and heard his breathing as he ascended the steps to his second floor study. I didn't know if I should be ashamed, afraid, or repentant.

Carlisle entered the room and walked to stand in front of me, leaning on his desk with his arms crossed. His burning glare has me studying the floor in a second. If he didn't speak soon I was going to have a nervous breakdown.

"Edward, look at me," he firmly ordered.

I brought my eyes up to meet his. Sensing my confusion he got straight to the point. "Son, I received a call from Forks High School this afternoon." He pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a heavy sigh. _Oh no!_ I instantly knew why I squirming in Carlisle's study. That spineless little jerk ratted on me! Mercifully, Carlisle's mental reprieve was brief, as he opened his eyes he confirmed my thoughts.

"Your principal, Mr. Greene informed me that one of your classmates has reported a rather disturbing encounter he had with you yesterday. Would you care to enlighten me as to why you would be threatening Mike Newton?"

"Dad, no…." I started the volume of my voice rising. "That little….! I…I DIDN'T THREATEN..," Carlisle raised his hand and lowered it indicating for me to lower my voice. He started pacing, but didn't take his eyes off of me. "Edward, Mr. Greene said that the Newton boy was genuinely scared when he talked to him. He said the kid was actually shaking when he described some of your apparently bazaar behavior. "Dad…" I huffed, but was quickly cut-off. "Mr. Greene also said that Mike said you picked him up by the neck, threatened to break his arms and made growling noises at him."

As soon as Carlisle dropped the bomb about Mike, my brain shifted through memories from yesterday afternoon. I remembered sitting in Trig eavesdropping on Bella in gym. I tried to get a mental picture of her though Angela Weber. She would have been really upset with me if she found out. My clumsy girl hated gym, but I was bored and I thought I'd get a quick vision of Bella as she ducked and weaved through volleyball. Just seeing her made me feel like I had a pulse. I never felt this way before about a girl. For the past hundred or so years I've been on the outside looking in. Even though I had a coven…no, a family, this was different. She was incredible. She made me feel like a 17 year old boy.

Unfortunately for me, Angela spent most of gym flirting with Eric. I really didn't want to spy on Bella through Mike Newton because my patience with him and his romantic fantasies about my girlfriend were really starting to annoy me. Usually, I was able to maintain control of my frustrations with Newton, but lately I was having a hard time dealing with his inner dialog. I told myself I would only allow myself a few moments through his thoughts and then I would quit. I prided myself on my self control.

To my own self-inflicted irritation, Mike _was_ watching Bella. But it was his next thought that gripped me by my spine and had me sitting up rigidly in my chair. _Man, she looks hot. I will find an opening with her today. I think she's interested at least a little. She smiles at me a lot, when Cullen's not around anyway. At least we have one class without him… Damn, she's got a sweet ass._

It took every ounce or restraint I had not to crush the desk into splinters with my fingers. In that instant, Mike Newton became more than an annoyance. He was the competition. And any vampire worth his salt would never be vanquished by another male with a passing interest in his mate.

The boy kept a careful distance from Bella eyeing her like prey. Except it wasn't the kill he wanted. His eyes moved over her lithe body and I felt an instinctive, animalistic right to fight for my mate. To let the human males know she belonged to me.

Being the hunter, I instantly knew what he was doing: stalking. He was waiting for an opportunity to approach her.

After Bella made several failed attempts to properly serve the ball, Newton seized the opportunity to 'teach' her.

_Yes, _he thought to himself as he made his way to Bella's side, soccer ball in hand. _"Hey Bella, let me show you how to_ _do this._" She gave him a disapproving look, but he placed the ball in her hand and moved behind her anyway. He touched her elbow to demonstrate the angle her arm should be at while holding the ball.

He touched her? I shook my head disbelievingly.

I remembered hearing nothing from that point. I just watched as he touched her arm, her wrist, her waist. He put his hands on her, casually, comfortably, like he'd been doing it every day of his life. I was jealous and angered by the ease he had touching her. How dare he?

The venom started to boil in my veins just remembering this and how it felt to sit there helplessly watching it like some sick slow-motion replay of a train wreck. No way! There was no way in hell that I would tolerate that!

No! He did NOT just try to _smell _her hair, Ughhhh!

"Mr. Cullen, is everything alright?" Mr. Goff's icy voice snapped me back to earth. Evidently, my usually controlled composure was cracking, so much for my superior self control.

"Fine," I flicked my bottom lip behind my front teeth.

"Then would you like to join the rest of the class?"His asked flatly.

Everyone turned to look at me. Keeping my eyes straight ahead I made a split-second decision that, _no_ I did not want to 'join the rest of the class.'

"Not feeling well", I lied and ran from the room. I didn't need the air, but I did need to think.

I stealthily made my way down the empty hall, my chest heaving. Rage, jealously, hate, and I know it sounds crazy, but what even felt like nausea rolled through my body. I succumbed to all my emotions at once and I could feel my eyes turn black.

I knew what I had to do.

**Please review, I am anxiously awaiting your comments and critiques. The next chapter will be posted soon. Thanks for reading**.


	2. Chapter 2

**I hope you all are enjoying the story as much as I am enjoying writing it. I wanted to show more of Edward's instinctive vampire nature in the chapter. Warning: this story contains spanking; if this isn't your thing please don't read**.

I took off at a faster clip through the halls of the school and made my way to the boy's locker room. I knew I was reacting illogically, but I didn't care. Bella was mine and it was time I put this in check. I wanted to destroy Newton, but I would settle for seeing him wet himself. I smiled at the thought. At this moment I was not Carlisle Cullen's son, not the quiet, compliant, gentleman. No. At this moment I was one pissed-off vampire.

I determined that the coach's office would be the best place to wait. It was located out of view of the lockers and showers. I stood stone still in the dark room with my fists and teeth clenched.

My mind was in a heightened state of awareness. My ability to sort through the tonality of a sea of voices zeroed me point blank to Newton's mind and his mind's eye. Thankfully, for his sake, his inner voice was relatively quiet. Unfortunately for him, his eyes had a direct bead on Bella's body. Through his eyes I watched as his gaze lingered on the gentle swell of her curves and the effect gravity had on those curves as she moved. I shook my head when I realized I was watching her the same way he was.

What was wrong with me? I was instantly ashamed. A gentleman wouldn't spy on a lady like that. That perverted little act made me feel dirty and unworthy of such a beautiful creature. I had to admit that lately my thoughts have been less than gentlemanly. I was becoming what I strived so hard not to become, an oversexed teenage boy. I found innuendo in everything. Emmett would be so proud.

During the last few months my Victorian morality was at war with feelings and thoughts that excited me one minute and shamed me the next. Never in all my years have I felt so torn. I wasn't afraid of Bella refusing me…I thought that she would probably consent to some petting if I initiated touching her more intimately. I just couldn't bring myself to take the next step in our physical relationship. I had no parallels to draw from; I had no comparisons to base the experience on. More importantly, my biggest fear - what if I lost control and hurt her? A brief feeling of regret for denying Tanya crossed me. At least I would have gained some practical experience with her. My self-loathing intensified as I shook off my backward reasoning. I scolded myself and attempted to refocus my thoughts. _Get a grip Edward; you have a job to do._

My brain and body immediately snapped back on my mission when the bell finally sounded and the students filed into their locker room. Coach Bradley instructed Mike to pick up gym equipment then left to make a phone call. I had to move unseen with the kid back into the seclusion of the coach's office. _Not a problem._ I heard his footsteps before he entered the locker room; my body was poised for the precision of moving with him quickly. With lightening speed I grabbed Mike by his hooded sweatshirt and flew with him into the coach's office, securing him to a corner of the room. He was disoriented from the rush of speed and his equilibrium was off. He dropped slightly and put his hands on his knees to steady himself.

"What the hell Cullen? How did you get in…what the fu…?"

He tried to rise up to full height, but I firmly placed my hand on his shoulder. My objective was to establish myself as the alpha. Not that Mike could intimidate me; at full height he was still more than several inches shorter than I was.

"Let go of me," He said indignantly. He tried to knock my hand off his shoulder but couldn't budge it. Let the wretch put up a fight. Nothing would give me more pleasure than to just this once let go and be the monster I am. I dared him with my eyes.

"It seems your intentions to be helpful in gym today went unappreciated Newton".

He tried unsuccessfully to twist from my firm grip again. I grinned arrogantly at his pathetic effort. He looked scared, confused. He was waiting for me continue but I tortured him with my silence for a few moments. I was enjoying this. Playing with him like a cat with a bug.

I took an unneeded breath and continued. "Bella still seemed to have trouble serving the ball, maybe you aren't quite as gifted an instructor as you think you are."

_What? How does he know about that? Freak. _

His thoughts raised the intensity of my anger even more. Freak am I? He hasn't even begun to witness what I freak I can be. Maybe if a hurled his insignificant frame into the wall, or perhaps drop kicked him like a soccer ball. _Rein it in Edward_, I mentally scolded myself. I can't physically hurt him. He would win if I lost control that way. My intent was to scare him witless and warn him not to touch Bella.

Mike's eyes were bulging when I spoke again, my voice eerily calm and punctuated with threat.

"You need a lesson in manners. Don't you know you shouldn't touch a lady without her permission? You are never to touch Bella again without her consent. And just so there's no confusion about this Newton, you will never get it. Do you understand?"

I briefly saw myself through his mind. A low growl formed in my chest. The lethal sound rumbled inside my throat before passing through the predatory display of my teeth. The boy's breathing came fast and uneven. I raised my shoulders and cocked my head downward as I continued to glare at him. My nostrils flared and I could smell his fear. I continued more slowly with my composed tirade.

"I asked if you understood. Nod if you do."

Mike was scared speechless. He just continued to stare at me with his mouth open. I decided he needed a little motivation to answer my question. My hand moved from his shoulder to the loose material gathered at the neckline of his sweatshirt. I bunched it up in my fist and lifted him to meet my eyes. His feet dangled several inches from the ground.

"Maybe you didn't hear me. Do… you…understand?" I gritted through my teeth.

"Y…yes," he finally chocked out.

I needed to leave now. I was hurting him. _Your fun is over, Edward._

I released another growl for effect and saw his Adam's apple bob when he gulped. I was gone before he could take his next breath.

**Please review and let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I should have mentioned this in the beginning. If you haven't already figured out - this story takes place toward the end of Twilight after Bella and Edward have hooked-up. Their relationship is still in the baby stage and everyone; even vampires are a little insecure at the beginning of a relationship. Carlisle is not happy with Edward's behavior and will have to talk to his son about the seriousness of threatening humans. Carlisle is also planning to have another 'talk' with his son. Hmmm. This story contains the SPANKING of an oversexed teen-aged vampire. If this isn't your thing, please don't read. If you like the story, please take a minute to review. Enjoy…**

_**Stephenie Meyers owns TWILIGHT.**_

"Explain yourself Edward, because for the life of me I can't even begin to understand why you would do such a thing! Have you completely lost your mind? Threatening to break his arms, growling at him? What the hell were you thinking?" Carlisle popped my forehead with the tips of his fingers. I rolled my eyes downward in stunned disbelief that Carlisle would do that. It would seem comical to me if Carlisle wasn't beyond livid. It took a nanosecond for me to realize the only way out of this was the truth. Carlisle was very angry, and an angry Carlisle was not to be trifled with.

"Look at me and start talking," he said sternly. It was hard for me to meet his eyes when they were displaying so much anger. I willed myself to lift my head, swallowed the lump in my throat, and quietly started telling him my story. Carlisle listened patiently while I nervously recounted my version of what happened.

When I finished, I sighed and shifted uncomfortably in my chair waiting for my father to speak. I was ashamed that I had disappointed him and I knew that my behavior could have potentially exposed us.  
I dropped my head in submission, waiting for his judgment. I knew Carlisle would be fair with me, he always has been.

I completely accepted and trusted Carlisle as my coven leader and my father. At times like this, when I find myself in the most humbling of circumstances, I knew that my contrition was required. It would do no good to test Carlisle at this point. I already knew my backside was on the line. Still, I was anxious about my punishment.

Carlisle's expression was grave as he contemplated the seriousness of what I had done. He was deeply concerned about how my behavior would be construed. He was right. _What the hell was I thinking?_ Humans can't move that quickly, humans can't lift another human up by the neck like a ragdoll, and they certainly can't growl like a freaking bear on steroids.

_Damn, I'm not going to be able to sit for a week! _

He finally allowed me access to his thoughts. His anger had faded a little and was replaced by frustration. I watched his brow knit when I caught his next thought.

_Edward doesn't usually have problems with controlling himself. He knows how crucial it is to our existence here to maintain a low profile. Fighting with your brothers is one thing, but attacking a human is just plain stupid._

"Edward, I know you realize how this event could be detrimental to us. Mike Newton's family is very well respected. If the Newton's decide to make an issue of this we could be under tremendous scrutiny by not just the school. There could be legal ramifications." He shook his head sadly. "Even if we are _lucky enough_ to escape any legal issues this little incident might incur, we have to give consideration to the fact that people like to talk. All it would take is for Mike Newton to spread the word that there is something not quite normal with the Cullen family and we could be exposed to a public witch hunt. We would have to leave Forks." He was agitated, and with good reason. "NOT to mention how the Volturri might interpret this spectacle." He rubbed his brow in frustration. Vampires don't get headaches, but Carlisle looked like his was working on a migraine.

He momentarily stopped his lecture. I remained silent. I knew better than to interrupt or speak until a question was asked of me.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" _There it is._

"Carlis…"

"Look at me, Son," he interrupted. He was clearly irritated to be reminding me again.

"Dad, I'm sorry," I began again as I raised my eyes to meet his. I was shocked to see how much of his frustration showed in his face. "I wasn't thinking straight, I...I just got so… angry when I saw that little weasel..."

"Edward," he warned angrily. He was not putting up with any of my teen-aged idiocy.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "I...I just saw red when I saw him touch Bella. I know I should have stopped myself, but instead I tried to convince myself that if I just scared him a little, then he would back off. And I never threatened to break his arms. I guess Newton thought turn-about was fair play and decided to play-up our altercation to his advantage. Dad, does that even sound like me?"

I was the one becoming frustrated now.

"Edward, you lost control of yourself. You put your hands on this kid in a threatening manner. You potentially exposed your family to scrutiny by a number of authority figures in this town. Bella's Dad is a cop, Edward. If the Newton's press this, there could be harassment charges. Do you think the chief of police would let his daughter date someone he thought was dangerous?"

I hadn't thought of that. Instantly I felt a deluge of emotions overtake me. Carlisle noticed the change in my breathing and tried to settle me.

"Edward, calm down, Son," he said soothingly.

He shook his head and sighed. "For someone who has lived one hundred and nine years, and has always been the model of decorum, your recent theatrics have me…well, surprised. I expect this type of behavior from Emmett."

It's true that my big brother could be a hot head. He was used to having men ogle Rosalie, she is a classic beauty. But, if someone dared laid a finger on her, human or vampire, they would soon find themselves wrapped around an inanimate object.

"I'm sorry, Dad. I know I screwed-up. You're right about everything you said. I made a poor choice because of my temper and I didn't think about what it would mean for my family." I felt like crying when I thought of how this could affect everyone. Would my family resent me if we had to leave? How would this play out for Bella and me? My chest slumped forward and I covered my face with my hands.

I felt terrible for what I'd done. What would happen if Carlisle's fears came true? Would we be forced to leave? Or even worse, what would happen if Charlie forbids Bella from seeing me. Edward Cullen, the troublemaker, someone potentially harmful to his daughter. How very ironic.

Carlisle moved directly in front of me and removed my hands from my face. He gently tilted my chin upward with his fingers.

"I told the school I would talk to you and that you would apologize to Mike in a closed meeting at school tomorrow. It will only be you, Mike and Mr. Greene in his office. This will take place tomorrow before your first class," he gave me a pointed look. "You had better make it good Edward."

Carlisle's last forceful words made me feel uneasy. I'm going to have to grovel to a human insect that I should have squashed like a bug under the soul of my shoe. My pride was going to sting doing this and Carlisle knew it. He raised an eyebrow, daring me to object.

"Yes sir," I whined in agitation.

"Mr. Greene said at best you should expect a few days detention from this whole mess," he said firmly.

"Ah, Dad…," I groaned.

"_Which_ you will serve without complaint," he added as I started to object.

I pouted like a five year old, but I was resigned to my punishment from the school. I would do anything to smooth this over for my family.

"As I previously stated, we will be lucky if this is all that transpires publicly. I expect you to keep a watchful ear for any indication that you'll become part of the rumor mill."

I nodded solemnly.

Carlisle was thoughtful for a minute and it seemed like he was having trouble finding his words. From the tiny upward quirk of his mouth he looked almost amused. "Son, I think it's time you and I have a little talk."

He was blocking me again so I had no idea what he meant. Exactly what kind of 'talk' did Carlisle want to have with me?

I nodded, but don't know why since I had no idea what I was agreeing to. I really didn't feel like I was in a position to be asking questions.

"That being said I think you know what's coming. You know the consequences of your actions. Do you understand what you've done wrong and why I feel that punishment is necessary?" he questioned.

Now was my time to speak up and either agree or disagree with Carlisle's decision. My Father always allowed us this opportunity to disagree with his punishment. I don't think anyone of us has ever spoken against him. We all had absolute respect for him. I knew he was doing this because wanted me to learn from my mistake.

"Yes sir, I understand." I did, but I didn't have to like it. I certainly was not thrilled at the prospect of what was going to happen to me after Carlisle's lecture.

"I am frustrated to be in this position again Edward."

_Tell me about it. _

"Obviously, I've been going too easy on you. You're just not learning your lesson to mind your temper.  
Losing control with your family is one thing, but not being able to control yourself around humans is highly dangerous for us. We can't afford these kinds of mistakes. What makes it worse is you know this. I know you do. You've been punished numerous times for losing control and letting your temper get the best of you. This _will_ be the last time young man.

Well that didn't sound good. "Dad, I'm sorry…," I begged.

"I know you are Edward," the sadness in his voice hurt me. "I'm going to be harder on you this time.  
I have a responsibility to this family and to you. I just can't let this go with a slap on the wrist. Nothing like this can ever happen again."

"It won't happen again, Dad," I said softly.

I knew from the moment Carlisle told me the school called that he was going to spank me. When he emphasized that this would be his last time punishing me for my temper, well… it scared the hell out of me. This sounded like I was in for a major beating. Carlisle has never whipped me with a strap, but I knew there was always a possibility for this to happen.

He whipped Emmett once for cursing Esme. He stupidly called her a name that Carlisle detested. I had never seen him so upset. When he requested that the family leave so he could deal with my brother, I caught a vision of a supple roll of black leather tucked away in the drawer of his desk. Emmett usually bounced back easily from adversity. He had a unique talent for taking life with a grain of salt. But when I returned to see a weepy Emmett gingerly walking from his room I was shocked to say the least. I couldn't believe my pacifist Father used that thing on him. All the Cullen children learned a lesson from Emmett's punishment that day.

I myself was not a novice to the cruel lick of a strap. My human father used one on me when I was around 14 years old. It was the last time he punished me. He made me remove my clothing from the waist down and lie on my bed. Then he methodically delivered twenty sharp strokes to my backside and upper thighs. I was an incoherent mess by the time he finished. Only my most poignant human memories have not faded from me and the memory of that whipping still remained loud and clear. I could still remember the pain, and the lesson: never recklessly endanger your life. I swallowed my chagrin thinking he really did teach me a lesson I would never forget.

Finally, Carlisle let me inside his head. When I heard the sadness and anxiety of his thoughts I felt so guilty for causing him grief. _I really don't want to do this. I hate doing this. Edward's temper is the one area where he's always needed my reinforcement for control. This punishment is going to have to serve as a reminder. We cannot take the risk that his behavior around humans will become inappropriate. He could expose us so easily._

"I know Dad," I whispered responding to his thoughts. "What do you want me to do?"

**Thanks for reading and please review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi everyone. I took more time with this chapter and tried something different with Edward and Carlisle's characters. I was looking for a way to make this chapter more original yet stay within the boundaries of "Twilight" reality. Thanks to my awesome Beta, who corrected, suggested, polished and inspired me to stretch some limits, I hopefully made some strides in creating something less expected.**

_**Stephenie Meyer owns "Twilight".**_

"Stand up, Edward." Carlisle ordered, his voice an octave deeper.

Keeping my eyes on the floor, I raised myself to stand before him. I was more terrified than I can ever remember before a session with Carlisle's right hand. I thought about how long it has been since I was in this position, almost ten years. I had been in trouble since and grounded a few times. I stupidly thought at the time that maybe Carlisle thought I was getting to old for this manner of punishment. Now I realized that it was just a matter of time. The best way to avoid punishment is to fear it. I had forgotten that.

I knew Carlisle could not comfort me now; we were way past that point. He was gathering all of his inner strength to stay focused on what he felt was his responsibility as my father. He would not save me from the hell I cast myself into. I willingly fell into that dark place I would often go when I had fallen short of my _own_ expectations. My guilt for what I had done to that boy and my family, my disgust with myself for not being able to control my temper, and my shame for my disintegrating morality all accumulated into my psyche. My father's hand was no match for the emotional whipping I would subject myself to. I was ashamed and I was afraid. No. He would not be helping me with that.

"Edward." He called, while I wallowed.

I couldn't move, lost in my hell.

"_**Edward!**_" He all but shouted, annoyed.

He was in front of me before I could move. Gently, but firmly he pushed my chin up with the top of his fist. It was disconcerting to look him in the eyes.

"When your father speaks to you, you look at him…man to man." His steadfast eyes were sincere. He wasn't just chastising me, he was teaching me. This afternoon would be all about teaching his temperamental son a lesson.

"Yes, Father." I softly replied.

In my early years with Carlisle I formally called him 'Father'. I grew up that way, so it felt natural. Soon after Emmett joined us, I adopted the more casual endearment of 'Dad'. I was surprised that he liked it as much as he did, since I had been calling him 'Father' for eons. It was usually at this point during a punishment, when my spanking was imminent, that I reverted back to calling him 'Father'. Given the circumstance, it just sounded more respectful.

The three feet of space between us was heavy with the weight of my expectation. His thoughts have been mostly blocked to me since I walked into the house this afternoon. I could feel the twinge of impatience that happens when I first realize that I'm not in control of a situation. The twinge started as a pang in my chest then beset my thoughts to stir up the inevitable tempest. This was how my temper always started, with my demon feeding on my insecurity.

I obeyed my father and kept eye contact. He crossed his arms and absently rubbed the side of his index finger along the ridge of his chin. He was thinking, and I hated that I didn't know about what. Surely, as planned as my punishments were he must know by know how it would be executed.

_OK Dad. Let's have it. How are you going to whip me into submission? _

My posture confirmed my impatience. If the act of dramatically crossing my arms, and exhaling sharply didn't display enough disrespect, then I'm sure the questioning arch of my brow did.

Carlisle was not amused.

"I suggest you leave the questions to me, Edward. In word _and_ deed you will respect and obey me now. Let there be no question of that." He advised sternly. "And since you are in such a hurry to receive what's coming to you, I won't delay." His voice was even and a tiny bit mocking.

_Way to go dumbass. _

The heavy opaque curtain blocking his thoughts was instantly opened. Like light flooding a room, Carlisle's disappointment and pain were instantly illuminated. Overcome by the clarity of his emotions, I squinted hard and stepped back in reflex, almost dropping my head again. Remembering his request, I quickly leveled my jaw so I would meet his eyes.

I should have been prepared to see the strap in his thoughts, so why did my body jolt? The shock wasn't externally discernable, but sent fissures through me like hot water on ice. My eyes widened as Carlisle moved to the other side of his desk. He bent to open the bottom drawer. I felt myself start to panic.

_Oh God, no… Please Dad, don't strap me!_

I instantly remembered the pain of a long-ago memory, the sound of the strap as it struck my flesh…

_**CRACK**_

"_AAAAHHHHH! ….FATHER! P..PLEE…PLLLEEASE...STOP!" _

"_EDWARD, I'M SORRY TO HAVE TO DO THIS…You could have DIED! You will NEVER act so recklessly again…will you, Son?"_

_**CRACK**_

"_AAAAHHHHHH!...NOOOO S…SIRRRR!"_

Channeling young, human Edward receiving a whipping from his father was not the most prudent reflection at this already stressful moment. I blinked as the betraying burn of tears stung my dry eyes and nose. My diaphragm hitched and my breathing became ragged. I felt extremely vulnerable and shaken with fear as I whimpered. I hated myself for doing this, for crying before the first strike. I had lost control. My demon was laughing at me now.

Carlisle noticed my breakdown and dropped his eyes to the implement of pain clutched in his hand. He looked tormented by his decision to use it and I saw a momentary lapse of commitment cross his brow. In all my years with Carlisle I've never seen indecision in his eyes before he punished me. Could I dare to hope that he would change his mind?

_Yes, damn it…PUT THAT THING AWAY. Can't we do what we always do? I bend over your desk, you spank my backside with your hand until I cry and say I'm sorry, you forgive me and then that's that. Where did Carlisle go? What happened to my gentle, peace-loving father? What happened to the practice of mercy? Does that mercy not apply to your son?_

Carlisle squared his chin, shook his head once and turned his determined eyes to mine. The look of resolve on his face was unmistakable. If his decision hadn't been firm a moment ago, it was now.

"_Ah, Edward, I know you're scared. I hate to have to use this on you, Son. Trust me, when I say this has been a very difficult decision for me. I love you and I love this family more than I can ever articulately express. I know this may be hard to understand, but that is why I'm going to use the strap. My job is to protect us, even if that means protecting us from one of our own."_

Carlisle's pain was palpable. His duty as my father carried with it the sometimes unpleasant task of reminding his wayward son of what it meant to be a Cullen.

I registered that he had moved to stand in front of me, but I couldn't take my eyes off the black strip of leather that hung from his right hand. Uncoiled now, it was eighteen inches long, four inches wide, and a quarter of an inch thick. The black leather was slightly cracked at even intervals from where it had been rolled. The remnant of a very old razor strop, the handle and the strip of metal that capped the business end were long gone.

"Is there something that you need to say before we begin, Son?" He asked kindly.

I attempted to suppress my quiet crying for a moment to speak to him. I wanted to tell him how sorry I was for what I had done. I wanted to tell him that it would never happen again and he didn't need to whip me. I wanted to tell him that he didn't have to feel horrible for punishing me and that we should just forget about this whole mess and carry on like it never happened.

Tragically, my demon twisted and strangled those words to spill out as brazen disrespect.

"I can't believe you're going to beat me..._DAD! _YOU'RE SUCH A HYPOCRITE!" I yelled angrily.

Before I could think, blink or apologize for whatever possessed me to shout at my father, I felt the cool, smooth surface of polished wood slap the right side of my face. My father's left hand firmly clasped the back of my neck, securing me over his desk. In a heartbeat he delivered three solid smacks with his hand to the center of my backside.

_OW! That freaking hurt! _

I was outraged by my father's restraining grip on my body. I grunted and struggled as I tried with all my might to push myself off his desk. My demon was alive and kicking now as it tried to out-muscle Carlisle.

My angry father pushed me down harder onto his desk. "ENOUGH!" He shouted. "What did I tell you, Edward…_HUH?_ In word and deed you will RESPECT and OBEY me now!"

I ignored my father's reminder as I defiantly tried to push my chest upward and leverage myself on my forearms. Carlisle was incensed as his iron hand moved from the nape of my neck to the center of my back, slamming me back onto his desk. The wood made a cracking sound as my body hit the glossy surface. Insolent and enraged, I hissed and growled loudly as I bucked harder against his hand.

_There is no fucking way I am going to let you whip me with that strap, Carlisle!_

Angered by my audacity, Carlisle leaned into his hand, pushing me down ever harder. I could feel my cheekbone and the edge of my jaw grind against the hard surface of his desk. A resonant growl erupted from my father's chest as his authoritative right hand began spanking my backside, faster and harder this time. He wasn't stopping at a few warning spanks now. His palm struck my denim covered behind with fierce alternating slaps.

Pain fought for dominance over my temper, I wasn't going to let it win. I clenched my teeth and pressed by lips together tightly as I willed myself not to give him the satisfaction of as much as a whimper. I gave up trying to free myself from the force holding down my torso and tried to use the pressure he was applying to my back as a fulcrum to twist my hips and legs sideways. My father swiftly curled his muscular arm around my waist to constrain the lower half of my body, never missing a beat to his intended target.

I could barely move from the waist down. I was crazed with fury at Carlisle's obvious victory. In the most childish fit, I began pounding his desk with my fists. They sliced through the front edge of his vintage desk like a hot knife through butter.

Carlisle stopped his onslaught to my butt and roared! The feral sound shook the windows and reverberated throughout his study.

My demon immediately released his intense hold on my mind and body.

Breath left my body as my father jerked me up and spun me around. He grabbed me by my shirt and  
roughly pulled me to his face.

"So you want to act like _child_...?"He seethed his words, sharp with intent. His tightened, onyx eyes flashed and his chest swelled. My father was absolutely furious.

_Oh God! _I thought, desperately.

Before I could take any mental inventory of what just happened I felt myself being lifted and moved.  
My palms brushed against something rough, as I tried to focus my eyes on my location. I was over my father's lap. He was seated on the leather couch adjacent to his now worthless desk. Carlisle briskly yanked my jeans and boxers into a careless puddle at my ankles. I felt jostling as he shifted me forward, he crossed his right leg over the back of my calves in a tight scissor hold, securing me in place over his left knee and positioning my bottom for punishment. I tried to speak for the first time in what seemed like hours. "Fa…ther…I..I AHHHH..!" I screamed as a hard slap caught the under curve of my left buttock. Carlisle turned a deaf ear to my apology and resumed his assault. I immediately started crying, hard, choking sobs. My demon had left me defenseless against the pain. There were no words of condemnation from my father. No lecture for the atrocious disregard of his orders, just swift and immediate punishment for my unacceptable behavior. With sheer, concentrated, determination he thrashed my poor, imprisoned backside. I growled. I hissed. I bucked to no avail. He delivered one sharp, resounding spank after another onto my bare butt and upper thighs. Then abruptly, he stopped.

Confused and crying, I was deposited on my feet. My hands immediately shot back to rub my bottom. It burned and throbbed with animated vivacity. I felt weak, like I could faint from the influx of physical and emotional pain. Of the two, the emotional pain was much worse. I was so shaken by what just happened.

Carlisle disappeared to the other side of the room, his hands clasped behind his slightly bowed head. An unidentifiable sound escaped him. He was fighting his own demon, one he was far superior at controlling. I shuddered to think of the alternative.

He seemed to phase in front of me. His angry, black eyes glared at me as he exhaled sharply through his nose; his fists tightly clenched at his sides. I recoiled as his index finger escaped its confines and jabbed at me, accusingly. "_Don't…You…Ever…_test me again." He unflinchingly reprimanded me.

Renewed sobs burst from my chest. I nodded my head to acknowledge his warning.

Carlisle thought one word to me before he faded from the room.

"_Privacy."_

The heavy door rattled on its hinges.

I dropped to my knees and covered my face with my hands. I sobbed miserably without thought, reason, or awareness of time. I could tell the light had changed in the room and I slowly opened my eyes to find myself still on my knees. The length of my body cast a long grey shadow on the carpet. I didn't feel embarrassment as I stood trying to pull up my clothes. What I did feel was the imprint of my father's strong hand and a deep sadness for the ugly scene that I had caused. I knew I couldn't leave the room. A line had been crossed with my father.__


	5. Chapter 5

_**I revisit this chapter every once in a while and tweak a word or two, but I haven't posted it because it's…well…been soooo long. Tonight I received a pm inquiring whether or not I was going to finish the story and frankly, if someone would have asked me that a month ago, I would have probably said no. My life is crazy and I still don't know if I'll finish the story but I did finish this chapter and figured I would post it and humbly see how it's received. This is for you laura2314. And thank you.**_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.**_

I slowly turned to face the radiating glow of the setting sun beaming through the floor to ceiling windows. The room was bathed in a soft coral blush that momentarily drew away me from the scene of destruction. I walked around Carlisle's desk giving it no regard and placed my fingertips on the smooth pane of glass.

_What just happened?_

I released a breath I wasn't sure how long I'd been holding. Carlisle was never out-of-control when he punished me. Then again…I had never bucked against his authority in such a blatant display of will. _Oh no, _I thought in stunned disbelief at my very recent and abrupt loss of self-control. I leaned forward to press my forehead to the cool window.

My thoughts were fuzzy and I felt dazed from the drama. I caught myself in a smirk. I hated drama. I physically challenged my father, _my coven leader_. My incredulity turned into an unexpected bark of amusement when I realized what I had done. _I physically challenged Carlisle?_ As the full impact of the incident seeped into my consciousness, any humor that I had found in the situation left me.

My father took me over his knee like a disagreeable child throwing a tantrum. I couldn't believe he did that…_no,_ I couldn't believe he was _capable_ of doing that. _Nice move with the _leg,_ Carlisle. _I fumed internally recalling how he had trapped my legs beneath his own. My guess was that he learned that little maneuver trying to keep Rose under control. The bitterness I felt for being handled like an errant schoolboy caused a pang in my chest. My father's physical strength surprised me to say the least. The effortless way he restrained, moved, and punished me was quite literally blindsiding. I rubbed a knotted fist over the twinge that fluttered a staccato rhythm in my chest.

_Did Mike Newton feel the same way when I pulled him off his feet? He was as speechless and disoriented as I was. _For both of us, reality had been shattered when our impression of the seemingly passive being demonstrated unordinary abilities. I mistakenly assumed that Carlisle and I would be comparatively equal in brute vampire strength.

Then it dawned on me - the reason I was so astounded by the magnitude of his strength. I had never once seen Carlisle compete in the games of strength, speed, and agility my brothers and I concocted. I now realized that the reason Carlisle scoffed at our 'juvenile' games was to hold his strength in reserve. I didn't know why this had never occurred to me before. He did this for protecting his family, _and for punishing his children…obviously. _The sting of wounded pride burned as much as the residual effects of the stinging burn lit on my backside. My embarrassment over Carlisle's unanticipated show of strength wasn't going to be easy to shake. '_Yes Sir', your status as head-vampire-in-charge still stands._ A low growl offrustration rolled up my throat as I rubbed my smarting bottom.

My humiliation was further accentuated over the fact that I could see some of my punishment in Carlisle's mind. Carlisle's thoughts were transparent and jumbled toward the end of the spanking. He became emotional and worried; he let his mental guard down. This provided me a view of the worst of the ordeal. The ability to see my own ass getting whipped is not something I would describe as a 'gift'. I was suddenly filled with dread and embarrassment when I realized I wasn't the only one who saw what happened. Alice. I lamely banged my head against the glass and groaned. Alice and I had a special relationship and I trusted her not to tell the others, but there are just some things a guy doesn't want his sister to see.

I straightened my back and squared my shoulders; regaining my pride somewhat I scanned the horizon. I was by nature a practical person, usually very controlled, second only to my father. I had longer than the others to hone the skill and I prided myself on it. Ever since Bella entered my life my former control has become a delusion. She affected me…_in every way_. Every sensory reaction I had was altered. To touch her translucent skin…to smell the delicious nectar of her blood…to kiss her tender lips… was unlike anything else I could imagine. Obviously, my rational mind was duly affected. I can't remember the last time I behaved this way, if ever. I was enraged and out-of-control at school to the point of threatening a human. I disrespected and challenged Carlisle, _I can't believe I did that_, and after a century of easily controlling any unchaste urges, my strict Victorian morality has become compromised.

I groaned as my fingertips moved to massage the tension from my temples.

_You really fucked-up this time, Cullen._

Carlisle wasn't going to let me forget this little incident. Given the seriousness of having challenged my coven leader, I had no doubt that he would conduct this lesson with traditional formality. He was going to expect me to answer for my behavior. Standing before my lecturing father while he droned on endlessly about our rules and self-control and the importance of respect toward authority was not something I was looking forward to. The problem was, I knew our rules. I certainly was respectful and possessed an infinite amount of self-control…usually. Why I chose to completely disregard any modicum of intelligence I possessed in the past few days was beyond my comprehension. How was I to answer for that?

_Gee Dad, the reason I've completely lost my mind these past few days is because my body wants things that my mind knows aren't conceivably possible. That every day I walk a fine line between my basest desires and a fierce protective devotion to the object of that desire. Oh…also, did I mention that I lose my freaking mind every time another guy even blinks in Bella's general direction._

_Carlisle won't appreciate the sarcasm, but that's the gist of it…isn't it?_

Since the first day Bella entered my black-hole of an existence everything had changed. I changed. Dealing with my bloodlust was now secondary to a purer kind of lust, that was, at the very least, the most human quality I have discovered in myself in the past century.

I closed my eyes and felt my face lift with a crooked grin. _Ah! Bella_. Saying I was unprepared for the feelings she unleashed in me was a colossal understatement. I never expected to fall this hard and fast for anyone, especially not a human girl. But here I was, completely consumed with Bella Swan and wanting to uncover _all_ her secrets.

Every night Bella laid close to me in her tiny bed, her limbs naturally sought to tangle with mine in her slumber. The feel of her soft body pressed so close to mine rendered me incapable of reason and…spellbound. Her unconscious seduction obliterated any control my mind tried impose upon my body.

I ached for her.

I didn't know if it was guilt or delirium that made me disentangle myself from Bella and escape to the cool night air. Wretched creature that I am, I could not control my response to her. Running relieved the tension in my body, but not completely. Edward Cullen was only a man after all…immortal, a killer…but a man nonetheless.

The moral majority in the early twentieth-century regarded self-gratification among adolescent boys as a 'gateway' sin. Any young man wicked enough to indulge in such practice was destined for depravity and juvenile delinquency. Of course, there were also serious health factors to consider, such as blindness and hairy palms. I lifted my hand to my face and bent my wrist backward. I squinted hard and turned my palm, studying it from a few angles. _Ridiculous,_ I chuckled.

Still, I was fraught with shame over my newly discovered hobby and haven't been able to look my mother in the eye for weeks. I was afraid she knew what I was thinking. God forbid she knew what I was doing! It was bad enough that Alice knew. Her thoughts did not hint to me that she knew, but when I caught her eye…her expression was…pure embarrassment. She knew.

I could tell Bella was feeling the same new sensations, the flush of passion that brought the blood to the surface of her skin and caused her scent to deepen. Bella was quite innocent, but her body betrayed her. She was on a precipice between adolescence and womanhood. It wouldn't take much to push her in the direction that nature would inevitably go. For this reason I could not let another male close to her.

Slowly turning from the window I was unprepared for the sight of Carlisle's disarrayed study. My body jolted with the shock of realization that I had caused this damage.

The beautiful, clean lines of his solid cherry, Deco-inspired desk now looked as if something prehistoric took a bite out of the area where Carlisle would place a book or his laptop. Our family didn't usually invest sentiment in material objects, reasoning that everything could be replaced once we set-up household in yet another tenebrous town. I heaved a guilty sigh as I skimmed my fingertips across the splintered edge. This wasn't just another piece of furniture that was forgotten and left behind when we moved. This desk was carefully crated and stored until we were comfortably settled, then it was shipped to us. This desk was a gift to Carlisle from Esme on their first wedding anniversary.

How was I to make restitution to my mother for destroying her gift? My apology to her would be sincere enough, but words would not fix the damage. The desk couldn't be repaired and it couldn't be replaced. I may as well have pummeled it to dust. There was no way for me to make this up to her, and that fact caused me agonizing guilt. I bowed my head and squeezed my eyes shut in silent anguish. I envisioned her nodding, accepting my apology, and then coolly turning from me. My sweet mother withholding her words from me would be like the twist of a knife in my cold, dead heart.

_Please __not your silent disappointment, Mother_. _I would rather you whip me._ _I know you would never raise a hand to me, regardless of the fact that I was already sufficiently punished by Carlisle, but you should at least have your say. _I pinched the bridge of my nose between my fingers, a sharp, annoyed gust of self-loathing shot through my nostrils. _How selfish I am wishing for Esme's anger. I don't deserve that. I will endure her reticence, if that's how she chooses to punish me._

I let out a soft sigh of frustration and walked around to the other side of the desk. The discarded strap greeted me, lying serpentine-twisted. I threaded lightly around the area where it laid, as if I would wake it. My childhood memory…the terrifying sound of leather across my flesh reminded me that Carlisle's punishment would not be as silent as Esme's.

I knelt absently to pick-up my wallet that lay open and face down. Of course, Carlisle would think to remove it from my back pocket; he meant for me to feel his disapproval. I folded my wallet as I stood and gingerly slipped it back into my pocket, holding my breath as I felt it graze my tender backside.

The familiar 'twinge' continued to flutter sporadically with my emotions. Peaking and ebbing through the gauntlet of embarrassment, pride, guilt, and pain. I started pacing the Persian rug in front of my father's desk. Being kept waiting like this was pointless and aggravating; patience was not one of my virtues. I tilted my head upward and inhaled the air searching for the distinct sandalwood and vanilla notes of Carlisle's unique scent. His essence was very faint, indicating that he had not recently been close by. I could only imagine his whereabouts, probably hunting, as was his custom when he needed to clear his head.

I debated with myself on whether or not I should disobey a direct order from Carlisle and eavesdrop on his thoughts. If he continued to keep me waiting I would wear a faded stripe into the pattern under my agitated steps. My restless irritation was once again summoning my demon to resurge. The demon gave a thump to my chest, testing me… willing me to take back control. I felt my body tense and my temper ignite, as I continued pacing. The frustration bubbled inside of me, quickly turning into boiling anger.

_What the hell, Carlisle? Are you going to leave me in here alone all fucking night?_ _You CAN'T control my mind! _I paced faster; my lips tightening into a scowl as my fist pounded the air in protest. _How can you expect me to respect your privacy when you don't respect me as an adult? How can you lecture me on self control when you have exhibited none with me today?_

My demon was nodding and grinning in agreement.

_You think you know everything Carlisle, you think you know me? Unless you are purposely blocking me, I have a three mile range on everything you think! I can tune into your worries, dreams, fantasies and…_

An unbidden realism sucker-punched me during my internal rant and I stopped dead in my tracks. The wind completely knocked-out of my sails.

Unlike anyone else, Carlisle did know me. Not only could he block my mind reading more adroitly than the rest of my family, he was also quite skilled at knowing when I was picking through the thoughts of my victims. Usually an eyebrow quirked in my direction was enough to get me to stop. I lost my driving privileges for a few weeks once before I realized that my mental interloping was best done when my father was not around.

_He's not around now, though. Is he? _My demon interjected.

My confidence shot-up a little, but it gnawed at me that my father was able to pick-up whatever physical clues I projected when I was mind reading. I resumed my anxious pacing.

My brothers and sisters I could handle. I sharpened a very necessary skill early on in regard to my gift and my siblings. I had learned to keep a poker face when listening to their internal monologues, which wasn't easy, especially when their thoughts turned derogatory toward me. My rules were simple, I entertained myself whenever I so desired and was rewarded with unguarded entertainment and potentially useful information. I learned early on that smirking, rolling my eyes, and outright laughing had detrimental consequences…my siblings had an 'all's fair in love and war' sense of justice and knew how to torture me in return. Truth be known, most of the time I simply chose to ignore their inane thoughts, especially Emmett's sexual fantasies, Jasper's bloodlust, Alice's fashion addiction, or anything vain, shallow, mindless, and inconsequential from Rosalie.

Out of the utmost respect, I honored Esme's privacy. What kind of son would do something like that? My mother's privacy I respected with reverence. Besides, there are just some things a son doesn't want to know about his mother.

I stopped my relentless pacing and willed myself to relax. Listening was easier when I was unstressed. I took a few needless breaths and closed my eyes to concentrate. I sorted through the buzz and minutia of unrecognizable voices quickly until I pinpointed the soft timbre of Carlisle's inner voice.

His tone indicated to me that the anger he so vehemently displayed a while ago was no longer spiked and that he was moving toward home. I felt a bit of satisfaction from the guilt he was obviously now feeling.

"…_I should have handled that differently. Aghhh, what a mess! Maybe the outcome of what happened wouldn't have changed, but I should have reined in my anger. How can I lecture my son on the dangers of an uncontrolled temper, when I can't control my own? He did challenge me though, and as his leader I couldn't let him have the upper hand. He's my son; I'm his father. There is a respect issue here. What COULD I have done differently? I couldn't exactly tear his arms off. He was acting like a child – he got treated like a child..."_

Carlisle's justification for treating me like a naughty little boy dealt another blow to my rankled pride.

_Don't be so sensitive, _I scolded myself. _Remember these are his thoughts; I shouldn't be listening if I can't handle it. _I took a deep breath trying to sooth my hurt feelings. I wasn't giving him enough credit. He never said I was a child, only that I had acted like one.

"…_He knows better than to threaten a human. I know he knows better than to threaten me! I should have just taken the strap to his backside and been done with this…"_

I bristled as I heard the anger in Carlisle's words. I had hoped the he had enough time to cool off. I imagined the prey that he just took down was not hunted and killed with his usual grace.

"…(_Sigh) No. No…never punish in anger. Edward has always been more complicated than my other children…so brilliantly talented, intelligent, and self–aware…my first son is truly my heart…"_

I was surprised by the complete turn-around in Carlisle's thoughts. My body instantly relaxed and my chin reflexively found my chest. If I had tears to cry the dam holding them back would have collapsed right now. The fingertips of my right hand found their way to my chest directly over my unbeating heart mimicking a silent reciprocation on my father's thoughts.

"…_As Edward's father, whipping him will come at a great price to my heart. As his coven leader, I will have to focus on this as discipline…" _

At that moment something in Carlisle's words affected me so profoundly that the demon I was battling, pride and temper, conceded in defeat. I now realized that I must submit to Carlisle's authority and to whatever punishment he deemed just. I disrespected and disobeyed him, more than once. I physically challenged my coven leader. I did all of these things, but I also knew that whatever I did wrong, no matter how awful, Carlisle would always love me.


End file.
